Monthly Archives: January 2017

New Beginnings – Having Children in Later Life

New Beginnings – Having Children in Later Life

Older Parenting

You’re never too old to have a child, just ask Steve Martin, Mick Jagger or Ronnie Wood, many celebrity dads are choosing to become fathers later in life. While there is no ideal age that is perfect for every couple, having children at an older age has many benefits and also a few possible drawbacks.

You certainly don’t have to be a celebrity or a dad to consider starting a family beyond your twenties and thirties. In fact, because of various reasons including being caught up in their professional lives, many people are realizing it doesn’t have to be one or the other, and despite focusing on their career for years realise they have not missed the chance to have children. With that in mind, along with the current fertility technology and the possibility of adoption, many are pursuing that goal in their forties and even fifties. If you are in a new relationship with an older or younger partner, or you’re older and finally ready to enjoy the joy of parenthood, or you have children with an ex-spouse but want to share that experience with a new one, there is still time.

Here are a few things to consider while you contemplate this big life change.

On the positive side, waiting to have a baby means there is more time available to pursue your career before settling down. It gives you the chance to focus on work and achieve the goals you set for yourself without feeling guilty that you don’t have time for a child. Additionally because you were able to fulfill your life dreams you may be more content and relaxed when you are faced with the additional responsibilities that come with parenthood. Furthermore, being older parents can also mean more financial and emotional stability for the kids, as well as a higher level of wisdom and teaching that comes from extra life experience, along with resilience and stamina which are essential qualities in a good parent. Of course, what better way to bring youth back to your home than to have a baby? Of course the family dynamics do change somewhat the longer you wait, but there’s something to be said for getting the most out of the first chapter of life before starting the next one.

On the flip side, though, there are a few other things to keep in mind. In truth, one’s physical energy level is not the same when you’re older as when you’re younger. Being able to deal with the high demands and energy level of children themselves is something to be aware of. Of course there is always the option to reach out for childcare support, no matter what age you are, when you become a mother or a father. Even more serious is the hope that one will live long enough to see their children reach different junctures in life, high school graduation, a wedding, the birth of a grandchild. The older you are, the more this might come into question. Mortality can be something that enters into the picture when the decision is made to have children at a later date.

In the end, you have to consider the pros and cons of bringing a new person into the world at any time in your life. Why not do it when you are more established and more grounded in the world.

It might be as good a time as any, especially if you missed the chance at an earlier stage..

Relationship Advice from Dr Jane Greer

Dr Jane Greer
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Finding Love Without Dating Apps

Finding Love Without Dating Apps

Social Dating
Image Copyright © Holly Barry

Do you remember life before smartphones? Gone are the days where we looked forwards, rather than down at our phones all day. Nowadays, our smartphones reach into every aspect of our lives, from paying our bills and arranging our weekly grocery delivery to finding love and romance via online dating apps.

Whilst online dating seems, on the face of it, to offer the perfect solution to the age-old problem of finding true love, in reality things are often very different. With a seemingly endless supply of potential new dates available through dating apps, it’s all too easy to fall into a ‘click and go’ mind-set, where we never really give a date time to develop into something more, before we are scanning for the next potential candidate. If we’re honest, how many of us have met someone via a dating app, and then spent half the first date checking online, to see if other ‘possibles’ have arrived in our dating inbox?

Have dating apps had their day? Is there a better way to meet genuine people? Why not ditch the smartphone and try these four suggestions for finding love the real way?

Take Risks
Ever considered that the reason you haven’t found your special someone might just be because you play everything too safe? Step out of that comfort zone and you could find success in your dating endeavours. Try dating someone who you’d normally not consider, say yes to a wild and wacky date location or just pluck up the courage to pass your phone number to that nice guy you see on the way to work each morning. Of course, it’s true that taking risks and injecting a little spontaneity into your life means you might end up disappointed or facing rejection, but you might also find that things really go your way and you release a whole new you!

Volunteer Abroad
People volunteer to work abroad for all sorts of reasons, and whilst many people perhaps wouldn’t expect to find romance on a volunteering trip, it is actually fairly common to do just that. Stepping out of your comfort zone and immersing yourself in a new and exciting experience in a far-flung location puts you in the right frame of mind for meeting new people. You’re surrounded by like-minded people, who share your passion for adventure and helping others, so the chances are high that you will find someone special in amongst your fellow volunteers. With no mobile signal in these remote volunteering locations, there really is no excuse for not trying to make friends or find romance.

Join The Gym
It might be a bit of a cliché, but the gym is actually a brilliant place to meet someone new. Exercise boosts positivity, and will help you to be upbeat and confident when talking to that certain someone you meet in the spin class or the weights room. Of course, the golden rule for finding romance at the gym is to leave your phone in your locker. You might enjoy listening to your favourite tunes whilst pounding along on the treadmill, but those earphones will kill the chances of any conversation, so ditch them and start chatting instead.

Get Social
We’re not talking about social media here, but actually making an effort to get out and about socially. Learn to say yes to invitations, and you’ll soon find yourself meeting lots more people, some of whom might appeal to you romantically. If you routinely cry off from the office drinks on a Friday night, or you keep postponing a night out with mates, try saying yes to these instead, and see what happens. At the very least, you’ll be chatting and mingling with others, which can actively improve your social skills, and you never know just who you might meet when you’re waiting at the bar to get the next round in.

Another alternative route which avoids the digital screen of a mobile phone would be exploring the route of a matchmaker… If you are truly fed up of dead-end dating, a matchmaker will spend their time assessing your needs and wants to find a match who compliments your every want and desires in a partner.

Visiting a matchmaker is considered a more direct route to finding love, without the messy awkwardness in between. When the timing is right, you will be paired with a partner who shares the same skills, drive and interests as yourself, so that you are able to talk all night long without having to make that risky phone call to your friend to help bail you out of yet another disastrous dating scenario.

If you’re serious about stepping up your romantic efforts and finding that special someone, it might be time to mute that mobile and reinvent yourself as a real-world social superstar. With a little effort and a bit of courage, romance could, quite literally, be just around the corner.

Article by Holly Barry
Holly Barry
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