Category Archives: Celebrity News

Be Idris Elba’s Valentine

Be Idris Elba’s Valentine

Idris Elba Be My Valentine

Enter to join Idris Elba for some quality time over the most delicious meal of your life. Get flown out and put up in 4-star hotel accommodation, feel all the feelings that go along with being Idris’ Valentine…

Your entry and support goes to: W.E. Can Lead

W.E. Can Lead is committed to ensuring young girls receive the educational opportunity, leadership development and mentoring support necessary to become the new generation of female leaders across the continent of Africa.

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Blake Shelton & Gwen Stefani – Unexpected Love

Blake Shelton & Gwen Stefani – Unexpected Love

Blake Shelton and Gwen Stafani

Country star Blake Shelton revealed that his current love, Gwen Stefani, was “the last person” he expected to have his back after his divorce from Miranda Lambert. They’ve only been together for six months but already he’s crazy about her! This is a great example of a couple finding love when they least expect it. Sometimes when you aren’t actively looking for it to happen is exactly when love may find you.

When you are getting over a betrayal or heartbreak, it is hard to imagine yourself in another relationship. At that point the last thing you want to do is take a chance and risk being wounded again by someone else. But if you can trust yourself in turning to someone who is supportive and there for you, not only can you start anew, but it’s even possible that a new romance could blossom.

It can be difficult to talk about what you’ve been through and share your pain with a friend. A lot of times people want to shut down, and are not always comfortable reaching out and asking for support. They might feel embarrassed, humiliated or unsure about trusting that the friend won’t gossip about their story and private thoughts with someone else. However, you may find that in expressing your situation to a friend and giving them the chance to offer empathy, you might begin to feel understood in a way that makes all the difference in the world.

The tendency is to shut down when you’ve been hurt, but letting yourself remain open can become the first step in the process of healing. They’re able to see the best in you and help bring out that side of you, so that you can move forward feeling stronger and better about yourself. This is a key element of falling in love, which is being made to feel valued, terrific about yourself, desired, and, especially on the heels of losing all that when you are dealing with a break up, it can be an elixir of the heart. In fact, Blake was quoted as saying Gwen saved his life. There is no underestimating companionship..it can feel lifesaving.

While you may have only seen this person in one light, strictly platonic, that can shift as your circumstances and interactions with each other change. If that does happen, it can be a bonding experience and bring you together in a way that feels like a gain, where before you felt only lost and alone. With this in mind it can be positive to share your emotional pain with someone, rather than remaining closed off and keeping the heartache to yourself. It’s natural to feel vulnerable if you suddenly find yourself being drawn to this person after everything you’ve been through, but it is worth it to let the relationship go forward.

Blake and Gwen recently sang a duet together on The Voice called, “Go Ahead and Break My Heart.” Blake explained that they chose that title and the words to go with it because they are smart enough to know at this point that all relationships will have ups and downs. So why not just put it out there? They’ve been through it before, and they know there will be good and bad ahead, but right now they are so happy they found each other and they will deal with what’s ahead.

While Blake and Gwen are singing about it, it is equally beneficial to talk about it. Though it can feel scary, being involved in this relationship, facing your fears and acknowledging your insecurities can actually make you stronger. While you want to protect yourself and might typically look to keeping these feelings private, if you can instead be honest and genuine with someone you feel has your back, who knows where it might lead you, maybe even to a new love.

 

Relationship Advice from Dr Jane Greer

Dr Jane Greer
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Mending A Relationship Split

Mending A Relationship Split

Marriage Split

Sometimes it can be very helpful when two people take some time apart to evaluate how they feel about each other, and to sort out what is really important to both of them. In the face of baby number three on board, it looks like Megan and Brian have decided to join forces to work on their marriage and see if it can, in fact, work on take two. Similarly, Patrick Dempsey and his wife recently put the brakes on a divorce. You don’t have to be married to give love a second chance. Courtney Cox and her boyfriend are back together after calling off their engagement late last year.

There are many things that can drive a couple toward a breakup. Underscoring most separations are feelings of disappointment, anger, and the idea that there was something you couldn’t get beyond, some impassable issue, an irreconcilable difference for which there is no clear middle ground or answer. The anger itself can make it impossible to get along, either leading to too much fighting or a cold war distance between you, both of which can bring your sex life to a complete stop. For some people, the decision to end the relationship seems like the only path out of the hopelessness and unhappiness one or each partner is experiencing. Breaking up can appear to be a way out of the stress and on the road to a better place.

That said, love is a funny thing. Just because you aren’t getting along doesn’t necessarily mean you have stopped loving or feeling attracted to your partner. In addition to that, some space might infuse those feelings with new life while giving you a fresh perspective on what you can and can’t tolerate in your life. In other words, even though an end to your connection might seem freeing at first, it might ultimately prove to be complicated, difficult, and lonely.

Suddenly those weekend trips to see his mother don’t seem like that much of a sacrifice, or the fact that she chooses to go to the gym most nights instead of eating dinner with you might not leave you feeling so abandoned as long as she comes home after. Time apart allows you to evaluate what is important, and can give you the chance to decide if what once felt untenable and unacceptable might suddenly become manageable in the face of what you really have to lose. Taking a break can give you a chance to get a new outlook, while letting the anger subside. You can cool down and bring some objectivity back into your relationship.

If your relationship feels like it is at a standstill and is steeped in feelings of resentment and disappointment, instead of making the decision to end it for good, consider ending it for now. Give yourselves some time apart so you can see that you actually might want to stay together..

Relationship Advice from Dr Jane Greer

Dr Jane Greer
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Dr Jane Greer on Beyonce & Making Marriage Work

Dr Jane Greer on Beyonce & Making Marriage Work

Beyonce

During the premiere of her new visual album Lemonade this past weekend, Beyoncé shared very personal moments between her and her husband, Jay Z. The couple have had their share of marital rough patches. The challenge of a successful marriage is making it work with all of the elements of difficulty that arise, whether that be finances, children, in-laws, infidelity, or whatever else might bring a bump in the road to a relationship. Beyonce is addressing this important aspect of how much work goes into a marriage in this new album, and she is carrying on with the effort to make her bond with Jay Z better and stronger than ever.

Beyonce and Jay Z share a celebrated personal and professional life, but you don’t have to build an empire with your partner to make it worthwhile to preserve what you have together. Even so, this idea of having to work and put effort into a marriage or relationship is often frowned upon, and gets a bad reputation because it takes on this connotation of being a burden, a chore, or a responsibility. It’s as though people think if it isn’t easy, then it’s better to just call it quits and get out. When Ben Affleck so famously said that marriage takes work, it was like he said something awful, not something positive.

This reminds me of a couple that came to see me a few years back. Things were difficult between them, and the husband didn’t really want to be there. He asked, “Why should I have to work at it? If it’s so much work then we must be in a really bad state, so why not just end it?” I said, “Okay, you can make that choice, but keep in mind then you are going to have to put the work into dismantling your marriage.” I went on to highlight all the effort that would take – dealing with the divorce, splitting up their assets, finding a new place to live, starting to date again. Then, if he was lucky enough to find someone he liked and wanted to spend time with, he would have to hope that he got it exactly right that time so he wouldn’t find himself having to work on that relationship one day. He looked at me and said, “Okay, let’s work on the marriage.” He could finally see that there was no guaranteed easy route, and as I pointed out, nobody gets a pass, so it was worth it to him to try to take his marriage to a higher ground.

So how do you begin to work on your marriage or relationship? The most important word I can offer you is communication. So often there are misunderstandings and one person can become defensive or take something personally which is not meant to be that way at all. Without talking about it, on both ends, people can begin to feel disappointed and alone. I have one patient who was dating a woman he really liked. Their first few dates were great, but on the fourth date he avoided kissing her goodnight and anything else that would go along with that. She was clearly upset, and withdrew and didn’t take his calls for several days. He was clueless about why this was happening, and didn’t understand what had prompted her cold shoulder. He started to think he had been wrong about her, who needed to date a woman who changed her mind so suddenly? So I encouraged him to talk to her, rather than just respond to what seemed like a negative situation. I told him that since he saw this as a promising relationship, he might as well ask her what was going on. When he did she told him the truth, that she felt bad and unattractive when he didn’t kiss her the other night. It all then became clear to him, the truth was he had eaten a whole clove of raw garlic at dinner, he didn’t realize it until it was too late, and he was self-conscious about his breath. She had no idea about the garlic, so she thought he was rejecting her. Once he told her why he hadn’t kissed her, she completely understood and even laughed about it. What they went through is a prime example of a couple doing the work. Without their being open with each other, their relationship could have skidded off the track. Instead, I am happy to report they are very much in love and planning to move in together.

It is so basic really, but so important. The crux of any relationship is being able to speak to your needs and real feelings in a way that doesn’t carry blame. The hope is that you will each understand what the other person is experiencing. Once you are able to do that, you can put your heads together to find common ground and compromise, eventually realizing that the whole of your connection rises above each of your individual needs. Working on it means being willing to challenge yourself, to push yourself past your comfort zone, to be willing to be open. Sometimes trying something new and different, which is not always easy. It means not reacting to the other person, but checking things out with them first. It means being willing to struggle with uncertainty and tolerate the frustration that goes along with waiting for changes to happen, and not knowing if they will. It is about balancing your hope for the future against your disappointments of the past, so you can continue to persevere together.

In the end it is that world and life you have built together that will fuel the effort it takes to do the work that makes it work. The art of problem-solving with your partner takes creativity and brainstorming, and makes you closer because you each feel cared about and supported, which is worth its weight in gold. It can be as valuable as anything else Beyonce and Jay Z create together.

Relationship Advice from Dr Jane Greer

Dr Jane Greer
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Emma Stone & Andrew Garfield – Relationship Jealousy

Emma Stone & Andrew Garfield – Relationship Jealousy

Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield
Andrew Garfield © Gage Skidmore

It’s rumored that lately actors Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield ‘are having issues’, stemming from the fact that Emma is close to her colleague Ryan Gosling. The possibility has spawned a lot of discussion about jealousy and how the celebrity couple might move forward from here.

While the two of them have not addressed the situation publicly, additional rumors surfaced suggesting the pair have resolved the issue. It’s very important to tackle jealousy head-on rather than letting it simmer within the relationship. And your partner doesn’t have to be working with a movie star, as is the case for Emma and Andrew, for you to feel the green-eyed monster in full force. In fact, most people go through this at one time or another, especially if their loved one is working closely with someone who is attractive and smart. When this happens, it is hard not to be rattled by the possibility that they could fall for this person and you could wind up losing them. So, what can you do to keep your fear and jealousy from taking over, and possibly creating more of a problem with your relationship than actually exists?

First, recognize that acting jealous can actually cause tension between you that may drive you apart rather than bring you closer. If you are feeling threatened, you may accuse your lover of doing something he or she isn’t doing, lash out in anger, or just generally make things so unpleasant that you unwittingly push them away from you and possibly in the direction of the other person.

The bottom line is that it is always uncomfortable knowing there are appealing men or women around whom your lover might come into contact with and find attractive. However, the real key to staying together happily is to focus on the connection you two share, rather than putting an emphasis on that perceived interloper. In other words, pay attention to ways to build on and strengthen your intimacy and closeness. If you are having problems over sex and/or money, for example, then now is a good time to invest your energy into problem solving and finding ways to compromise and resolve them, so that you can feel more confident, happy, and safe in your relationship. This way you use your energy productively to focus on considering and loving each other, rather than use it to act on your anxiety and possibly end up having it work against you.

When you are in sync and feel harmonious, it can eliminate any room for someone else to come between you. It can also help to ask for reassurance, making sure to avoid placing blame but rather raising your concerns and giving your significant other the chance to bring clarity to what is actually going on that will help you feel better. Despite jealous feelings occurring, when you have a strong foundation and trust each other, you can feel secure that you are the person your partner wants to be with. Hopefully, that will be the case, too, for Emma and Andrew.

Relationship Advice from Dr Jane Greer

Dr Jane Greer
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Relationships and Publicly Expressing Anger with Dr Jane Greer

Relationships and Publicly Expressing Anger with Dr Jane Greer

Fallout Shelter

Very often when we are mad at someone who has hurt our feelings our inclination is to get back at them by letting others know what they did to make us feel mistreated and wronged.

In fact, that dynamic is the hook of recent reality television programs. Doing that, though, and being vocal about the bad energy between you may unwittingly put the people around you in an uncomfortable position by making them feel like they have to choose sides.

Sometimes people get so caught up in the anger of the moment that it can spillover beyond their private world.

We saw this recently in the celebrity world with singers Nicki Minaj and Miley Cyrus at the 2015 VMAs, hosted by Miley. During the live broadcast on Sunday, Nicki called Miley a ‘bitch’ for talking about her in the press. According to an insider, “Nicki was livid with Miley and decided to air her feelings onstage.”

It was reported that MTV staffers had to keep Nicki and Miley away from each other for the night to avoid a confrontation. It is hard to know if their fighting was staged or authentic. Either way, it raises the question of whether shouting about your feelings in public when you’re upset is the best way to get your message across.

In Nicki’s case there might have been a strong desire to reach her fan base and share her rage toward Miley. Maybe she thought it was the only way to save face. But it really isn’t that different from fighting with a partner in front of family and friends at a holiday meal.

So when you’re irked at someone, what’s the best way to let them know..talk to them in private about it, or let the whole world know?

Before you let that happen, ask yourself if this is a relationship worth saving. If you decide it is, then the best thing to do is to go right to the source and address the cause of your distress directly with the person who upset you in the first place. Tell them what they said and did to set you off, and give them a chance to apologize and explain. It will also give the person the chance to clear up any miscommunication or misunderstanding that may have occurred between you.

Fighting out in the open just serves to fan the flames of the fury, but a straight conversation might clear the air and even help to salvage your relationship…

 

Relationship Advice from Dr Jane Greer

Dr Jane Greer
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