Category Archives: Relationship Advice

6 Subtle Ways A Woman Can Chat With Her Crush

6 Subtle Ways A Woman Can Chat With Her Crush

Online Dating Chat
Image Copyright © Jacob Silva

Statistic Brain, an online database for life’s multiple facets, was able to assemble figures related to online dating, here are some of their most revealing data

  • Of the total number of online dating users 47.6% are women
  • The estimated duration of courtship for couples who started online is 18.5 months on average, which is 23.5 months shorter than folks who met face to face.
  • First dates that originated online, people put more premium on personality 30%, with smile & looks only placing second at 23%.
  • Contrary to popular belief, still more than a third of girls (38%) prefer nice/polite guys as opposed to bad/damaging ones at only 15%.

With society’s stereotypes that men should be initiators and main handlers of a relationship, most women prefer to wait-and-see for a guys first move. However, waiting for that cute or charming guy that’s long been in your friend list to message you can take an eternity. He may be too busy or have a mind-boggling number of friends, to notice you in the first place.

So, does that mean you should drop the hint? Yes, but don’t overdo it. Here are clever and non-desperate ways you can start the conversation:

#1 The Classic ‘Misclick’
This is an old-school excuse that works up to now. You simply have to pretend that your little sibling, nephew, or cousin accidentally hit that emoji or sticker to your male crush.

Sorry! It was my 5-year-old cousin.”

“Apologies, my visiting nephew did that.”

Now, if the guy welcomingly accepts your apology with a friendly remark like, “Haha! It’s fine” then you can slowly take the conversation to a much personal level.

#2 The Planned Game Notification
After you played inviting games in Messenger like Everwing, Pac-Man, Hex, and Galaga, it will send a notification on the chat window of the person you decided to play it on. With your male crush as your target, you have to pretend again that you didn’t know about how the games work.

Didn’t know that this disturbs someone. Sorry!”

If that message shifts the topic from high-scores to love scores, then you’ll know the risk you took in messaging him paid off.

#3 The “I Think I Saw You Somewhere” Statement
Girls, admit it, the majority of you have at least one guy friend on social media that you have never met once. Once you’ve seen him randomly on a bus ride or a mall visit, you see it as a topic to open in chat. Even if you don’t, the power of pretending again comes to play. Just don’t appear like you shadow his entire profile.

Hey! You’re that guy in red in the mall entrance yesterday, right? I was about to greet you but I was afraid you won’t recognize me.”

A man is a curious being. The more you tickle his mind, the more he’ll think of you the majority of the time.

#4 The Interest Sparkler
Social media enables everyone to have a wide reach of information, particularly on good vacation and staycation places, OOTD ideas and mouthwatering dishes. You may have seen your crush post something about one of those, and whether you’re genuinely interested or not, you can use it to your advantage. Of the choices in this list, I believe this is the least informal and most effective way to engage with your crush, since it’s you showing interest on something he posted, not necessarily in him.

Hi! I apologize if I’m bugging you, but I just want to know if the picture you posted yesterday was taken in the Maldives. My family and I had a hard time making reservations there, and I was wondering how you did it. Thanks

 #5 The Damsel in Distress
The effectiveness of this technique has been impaired a little due to the large number of men and women using it, but it’s still a decent fallback option. Simply message your guy crush arbitrary letters like “asdasfasdasfas” and tell him, after he replied, that someone messed with your phone while you were away.

Geez! My apologies, but someone other than me played with my phone.”

#6 The New Lady in The City
For instance, if you’re travelling for a business or personal meeting, why not ask your crush to guide you along the way (through chat), like what routes and train stations to take, especially if the place is near his area. This works two ways for you: you get to arrive in your destination, while ascertaining if your crush has a genuine heart for troubled people.

Hello! This may appear very random, but I’m heading to a place in Salk Late City this weekend. Since you’re from Utah, I hope you can help me out on the best route to take. Thanks!”

Almost all gentlemen love to lend a helping hand, and if you’re lucky, your crush may even dig deeper by telling you some street-smarts or hidden knowledge about the place.

As a concluding thought, there’s a very good chance that your crush will like you so instead of waiting for him to unravel your great personality, why not take a chance on initiating that first casual message now?

Article by Jacob Silva
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Be On TV and Alone With The In-Laws

Alone With The In-laws

Do you think you have found the one? Are you engaged or about to move in with your new partner? Interested in what makes the perfect relationship or marriage?

Studio Lambert are making a new series for the UK BBC, ‘Alone with the In-Laws,’ and are looking for couples to cast.

Whether you’ve been childhood sweethearts or had a whirlwind romance, if you’re about to make a big commitment together they would like to hear from you.

Get in touch by sending contact details for you both (with your partner’s permission).

  • Mobile numbers
  • Email address
  • Age (applicants must be 18 years of age or older)
  • Where in the UK you live.
  • Whether you are engaged, and if so, when you are planning to get married.
  • Tell them a little bit about yourselves, how you met, jobs, hobbies etc. Along with why you would like to take part in the programme.
  • Plus a photo of you both

Email: couples @ studiolambert.com

Postal address:
Alone with the In-Laws
Studio Lambert
1 Denmark Street
London
WC2H 8LP
Tel: 020 3040 6838

CLOSING DATE:
Friday 1st September 2017

GOOD LUCK 🙂

**

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New Beginnings – Having Children in Later Life

New Beginnings – Having Children in Later Life

Older Parenting

You’re never too old to have a child, just ask Steve Martin, Mick Jagger or Ronnie Wood, many celebrity dads are choosing to become fathers later in life. While there is no ideal age that is perfect for every couple, having children at an older age has many benefits and also a few possible drawbacks.

You certainly don’t have to be a celebrity or a dad to consider starting a family beyond your twenties and thirties. In fact, because of various reasons including being caught up in their professional lives, many people are realizing it doesn’t have to be one or the other, and despite focusing on their career for years realise they have not missed the chance to have children. With that in mind, along with the current fertility technology and the possibility of adoption, many are pursuing that goal in their forties and even fifties. If you are in a new relationship with an older or younger partner, or you’re older and finally ready to enjoy the joy of parenthood, or you have children with an ex-spouse but want to share that experience with a new one, there is still time.

Here are a few things to consider while you contemplate this big life change.

On the positive side, waiting to have a baby means there is more time available to pursue your career before settling down. It gives you the chance to focus on work and achieve the goals you set for yourself without feeling guilty that you don’t have time for a child. Additionally because you were able to fulfill your life dreams you may be more content and relaxed when you are faced with the additional responsibilities that come with parenthood. Furthermore, being older parents can also mean more financial and emotional stability for the kids, as well as a higher level of wisdom and teaching that comes from extra life experience, along with resilience and stamina which are essential qualities in a good parent. Of course, what better way to bring youth back to your home than to have a baby? Of course the family dynamics do change somewhat the longer you wait, but there’s something to be said for getting the most out of the first chapter of life before starting the next one.

On the flip side, though, there are a few other things to keep in mind. In truth, one’s physical energy level is not the same when you’re older as when you’re younger. Being able to deal with the high demands and energy level of children themselves is something to be aware of. Of course there is always the option to reach out for childcare support, no matter what age you are, when you become a mother or a father. Even more serious is the hope that one will live long enough to see their children reach different junctures in life, high school graduation, a wedding, the birth of a grandchild. The older you are, the more this might come into question. Mortality can be something that enters into the picture when the decision is made to have children at a later date.

In the end, you have to consider the pros and cons of bringing a new person into the world at any time in your life. Why not do it when you are more established and more grounded in the world.

It might be as good a time as any, especially if you missed the chance at an earlier stage..

Relationship Advice from Dr Jane Greer

Dr Jane Greer
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Planning A Wedding – Different Experience Expectations

Planning A Wedding – Different Experience Expectations 

Wedding Planning

Something when two people decide to spend their lives together, one might have gone through it all before, the big wedding and honeymoon, and the other might be experiencing it for the first time.

Sometimes this can affect what each is hoping for as far as their big day goes. For the one who hasn’t experienced it before, this might be something they have been dreaming about since they were a little kid. They might have family members who have looked forward to it for years, and may even have strong ideas about how it should play out. For them, the whole idea of a traditional wedding dress and all the fanfare might sound great. The other person though, might feel they have been there and done that, they might no longer see the appeal of all the details and possible headaches that can go along with planning such a large, involved event. They might even think it would be nice to sneak away to City Hall or Las Vegas and elope. If you find yourself in this situation, how can you reconcile it?

The first thing to keep in mind is the end goal, which is to commit to each other for life! There are so many paths to take to get there, as long as you find one you will be achieving that all important objective. Having said that though, people still want what they want. Make sure you are able to talk about what you each desire and hope for, and really listen to why each person is requesting what they do. Try to compromise, maybe the person who doesn’t want a huge wedding or honeymoon will give in to the big day for the sake of his or her new spouse and family, but will then get to choose the honeymoon destination with the aspiration to keep it low key. Or maybe the reverse could work for you, the one who hopes for a grand occasion will be willing to tone it down but then might opt for an extravagant honeymoon.

Do your best to stay focused on what you want as a couple without giving up what is most important to you as an individual. Be sensitive to your partner’s needs, and try to find middle ground that will work for both of you, that way each of you can be invested in their wedding.

Relationship Advice from Dr Jane Greer

Dr Jane Greer
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Dating – The Age Gap

Dating – The Age Gap

Holding Hands

Recently I’ve been noticing this thing cropping up around me with various people. People who are in the relationship of their dreams but are very very quiet about it, others who potentially could be, but are experiencing resistance to it, and some who aren’t even considering the possible dating options. The common theme? It all comes down to ‘The Age Gap’!

It seems there’s  a real sense of shame and taboo about it. How much of a gap is too much of a gap? Once we’re all adults does such a limit really exist? What will people say, how will people judge me? There are a lot of such questions flying around, but really the question I want people to be asking is, why do I care? Love has no age limits, so why are you allowing there to be any on yours?

At the end of the day we are all searching for love, to really love and to be loved. If we happen to find it in the arms of someone twice our age, and they in the arms of someone half theirs, then who is to say that’s wrong? Often it can be jealous ‘friends’ or angry confused parents, but you know what? Forget what others think about it, as long as you are happy together then the people around you should be happy for you too. If they’re not, then are their opinions really worth you caring about, so much so that you would let it stand in the way of your happiness?

As long as you’re old enough not to have the older party done for statutory rape, and granted your partner is not some known bad-ass drug dealer, or someone of the sort who may be likely to bring some kind of harm to your life. Then you need to ask why friends and family, who have no real basis for standing in the way of your happiness, seem to believe that the age gap is really that bad that they would rather see you single than happy with that older or younger person!

Sure, sometimes it can be hard, especially when it’s family trying to have their say on the matter, but they need to be reminded that after a certain age, age is just a number and people are people no matter what year they were born. We are all free to love who we please. Sometimes love will show up in unexpected ways with unexpected people.

Don’t let the age gap stand in the way of your happiness however large or small it may be. And if there’s anyone other than you standing in the way, then you need to side step those people and let them watch you walk unashamedly into the arms of your beloved! Down with societal age gap stigma!

Article by Gülie Ismail
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Relationships & Children – Time Apart, Healing Betrayal

Relationships & Children – Time Apart, Healing Betrayal

Family Separation

Tiger Woods opened up about his relationship with ex-wife Elin Nordegren this week. The couple ended their marriage in 2010 after Tiger’s cheating scandal, but now they have managed to build an amicable friendship. With time Elin seems to have gotten past the betrayal of her ex-husband’s infidelity, which is a challenge for many couples, in order to do so. Tiger and Elin share two children, so this must be a welcome development for all of them…

While some couples are able to find higher ground and continue to make their relationship or marriage work after an affair, others realize that the intensity of the pain of the incident is just too much and that they are better apart.

Either way, initially there can be so much anger that it takes effort to not drag the children into it. This can be especially difficult if the spouses have parted and find themselves alone! The one who was betrayed feels that their whole world has turned upside down, and wants to get back at the person who did this to them and caused so much unhappiness. It is tempting to say terrible things about them to the people who are closest to you..your kids. The natural inclination is to want to get them on your side and have them take up arms against the person who caused this upheaval. The impulse to have the children understand what you are going through and why can be powerful.

How, then, can you avoid this urge, and instead let them know they still have two solid parents they can continue to depend on? How can you protect them from your own fury, and the negative energy that is coming from both sides, while navigating your way to a place of, if not forgiveness, at least of tolerance and understanding? How can you lead them to a solid foundation of security so that even if there is trouble between parents, they know they can count on the fact that both mum and dad will continue to be stable forces in their lives?

To begin with, understand that they are not the ones who should be supporting you through this. They need your support, so the goal is to try not to burden them with your rage. Of course, that is easier said than done. The first step is to find an outlet elsewhere because you will need to talk about it, and choosing people other than your kids to unload on is a great start. You can find solace and confide in anyone from a therapist or counselor to friends and other family members. Work to insulate your children so they don’t have to go through the raw emotion that you are going through. Steer clear of sharing the bad things your spouse did to you with the kids as much as you can. Finally, give yourself time which will hopefully lessen the sharpness of the betrayal, and eventually allow you to share at least a cordial relationship.

The hope is to find a way to provide a harmonious family environment despite the rift in your relationship. Where both parents can come back together and share an affable connection…

Relationship Advice from Dr Jane Greer

Dr Jane Greer
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Ex-Files & Old Flames – Why Isn’t It Easy To Say Goodbye?

Ex-Files & Old Flames – Why Isn’t It Easy To Say Goodbye?

Saying Goodbye

The most compelling reason people continue to hold on to an old relationship is the fact that they have a shared history. The person who might be an ex-partner has a sense not only of who you are, but who you were with them and during your time together. To then say goodbye to them can also feel like saying goodbye to who you were during your relationship!

Things that can keep you hopeful, even if you aren’t happy right now, is the possibility that something will change and the good times you once shared and the positive aspects of the relationship will resume.

Another thing that can keep the glue between you from completely giving way is if one of you wants to hold on more than the other. When this happens the one who isn’t ready to finally end it might persist with calls, emails and texts, which can increase the doubts the other might feel as well as any guilt feelings he or she might have about ending the relationship in the first place.

The partner who wants to continue to be together might also make assertions that they will change whatever behavior may have led to the unhappiness between you. They might even start to do it, which can make the other person stick around with the hope that the negative behaviors will disappear completely. As a result a couple can often seesaw because even small changes can increase optimism and give someone the stamina they need to be willing to try to give it another shot.

In the case of a betrayal, when the initial and intense anger diminishes, there can be a willingness to give the person a chance to rebuild your trust. Also, when there are children involved there is often a desire to keep the family together for their sake. That can be one of the strongest driving forces of all. Whatever the case, certainly if a lot of loving feelings remain it is hard to imagine life without them in it.

The question becomes, how do you know if you are wasting your time, holding on with the hope that the happiness will be rekindled or the bad behaviors will change when there is the chance that neither of those things is likely? How can you know how much time to give it before reaching the decision to finally call it quits? Are there any strategies to employ for ending a relationship?

If you are moving forward with the intent to give your relationship a try and see if things can work out, it’s good to be clear about what specific changes you are looking for and how long you are willing to wait to see if they actually take place. For example, if you are looking to see if you can trust your partner again, the only real way to do that is to give them enough time to show through their actions that what they say and do is worthy of your trust. However if months go by and you continue to be disappointed because the promised changes aren’t happening, or they have happened once but were never followed up on, that can be a good indicator that things aren’t really going to be different from what had been upsetting you all along, and if you want to be happier it is time to let go.

If married or in a long term relationship you or your partner could look for counseling, which can help you either get your relationship back on track or help you reach the difficult decision that it really is time to say goodbye to each other!

 

Relationship Advice from Dr Jane Greer

Dr Jane Greer
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