Tag Archives: Gulie Ismail

Dating – The Age Gap

Dating – The Age Gap

Holding Hands

Recently I’ve been noticing this thing cropping up around me with various people. People who are in the relationship of their dreams but are very very quiet about it, others who potentially could be, but are experiencing resistance to it, and some who aren’t even considering the possible dating options. The common theme? It all comes down to ‘The Age Gap’!

It seems there’s  a real sense of shame and taboo about it. How much of a gap is too much of a gap? Once we’re all adults does such a limit really exist? What will people say, how will people judge me? There are a lot of such questions flying around, but really the question I want people to be asking is, why do I care? Love has no age limits, so why are you allowing there to be any on yours?

At the end of the day we are all searching for love, to really love and to be loved. If we happen to find it in the arms of someone twice our age, and they in the arms of someone half theirs, then who is to say that’s wrong? Often it can be jealous ‘friends’ or angry confused parents, but you know what? Forget what others think about it, as long as you are happy together then the people around you should be happy for you too. If they’re not, then are their opinions really worth you caring about, so much so that you would let it stand in the way of your happiness?

As long as you’re old enough not to have the older party done for statutory rape, and granted your partner is not some known bad-ass drug dealer, or someone of the sort who may be likely to bring some kind of harm to your life. Then you need to ask why friends and family, who have no real basis for standing in the way of your happiness, seem to believe that the age gap is really that bad that they would rather see you single than happy with that older or younger person!

Sure, sometimes it can be hard, especially when it’s family trying to have their say on the matter, but they need to be reminded that after a certain age, age is just a number and people are people no matter what year they were born. We are all free to love who we please. Sometimes love will show up in unexpected ways with unexpected people.

Don’t let the age gap stand in the way of your happiness however large or small it may be. And if there’s anyone other than you standing in the way, then you need to side step those people and let them watch you walk unashamedly into the arms of your beloved! Down with societal age gap stigma!

Article by Gülie Ismail
Gülie Ismail

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Improving Relationships Through Intimacy

Improving Relationships Through Intimacy

Facing Therapy

Single? Or perhaps you’re in a relationship? Perhaps it’s fairly new, or maybe you’ve made it work and have graduated to long term status? Congratulations! Either way, if you’re being totally honest with yourself, is there something missing? Maybe everything is fine and you just want to make it a little better?

In terms of your relationship, what’s the first thing you think of when you hear the word intimacy? All too often, in all its varied names, sex, making love, banging, this tends to be the answer that shoots out of the barrel of our mouths and leaves bullet holes in a word that holds so much more potential.

We live in a world of polarity where there’s two sides to every coin, so let’s cash in and take a closer look at the word intimacy.

There is a very intimate part of us all that is full of a joyful innocence, it’s the inner child. That pure, sweet, beautiful part of us that is at the innermost core of us all. No matter how big and tough life’s made you, how grown up you believe you are, that’s the real you!

We’re all just a bunch of kids living in grown up bodies trying to find love and make the best sense of the world from what our years have taught us. Sometimes it’s the wrong life lessons that stick! We can build trust issues, hide parts of ourselves that were previously rejected. But the truth is if you want more intimacy with someone, you have to be willing to be more vulnerable, more trusting, more playful, more innocent in your interactions.

The word Intimacy comes from Latin roots, which boils down to a core meaning of familiarity. If you are missing something in your relationship, could it be that you are not familiar with your partners innermost self? Or perhaps even your own innermost self has gotten a bit lost along the journey of life? Buried under all this yucky adult stuff like responsibility, bills, bad habits, for the sake of convenience, unfulfilling jobs and all the other crap that goes with it.

We can get bogged down with routines and all too often end up taking each other for granted. We get complacent and then wonder what happened to ‘the spark’ between us.

Well those who play together, stay together. Any two people can have sex together, lets be real here, that kind of intimacy can be found with a few clicks and swipes of an app these days. But when you learn to love and play together from a state of innocence, that’s the most magical intimacy you and your partner can create. It will work wonders for the long term health of your relationship and for you both as individuals within that bubble.

Even if you’re currently single try to connect more with this part of yourself to bring beautiful changes to your life.

Gülie works as an energy psychotherapist, helping people overcome their intimacy issues using emotional freedom techniques, incorporating massage therapy.

Article by Gülie Ismail
Gülie Ismail

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