The Uncertain Path from Getting Engaged to Getting Married
Sometimes it isn’t such a clear path from getting engaged to getting married! For some people, undertaking such a big change and lifelong responsibility can cause people to question their choices and judgment, basically asking, did I make the right decision?
That concern and insecurity can trigger their fears and hamper their ability to moving forward. As one partner might be looking to be more involved and connected than ever, the other partner might actually be pulling away and become less available, spending more time elsewhere and possibly even dabbling in activities that can cause jealousy and trust issues. These actions can often be more of a statement of the trepidation that becoming engaged conjures up, rather than a reflection of their true feelings for their partner.
If this happens to you, whether you are on the side of needing more space or the side of wondering what is going on with your fiancé, the most important thing to do is have a conversation with each other to explore the feelings that were triggered by this huge, Uncertain event.
Leave room to talk about misgivings and insecurities, even if that is difficult, so that at least you have an opportunity to express your concerns with the hope that they don’t weigh you down and pull you apart permanently. It might also be helpful to seek counseling to address whatever might be getting in the way of your future happiness. Talking to someone about this can help you determine if you jumped into the engagement prematurely, and the best thing to do would be to postpone the wedding or even walk away, or if it is just a temporary setback that can be fixed.
This is a way to work through the tough time and have a better understanding of each other, know you are able to share your fears and conflicts, and perhaps move toward a happy ending.
Relationship Advice from Dr Jane Greer
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