Tag Archives: Marriage

The Uncertain Path from Getting Engaged to Getting Married

The Uncertain Path from Getting Engaged to Getting Married

Wedding Engagements

Sometimes it isn’t such a clear path from getting engaged to getting married! For some people, undertaking such a big change and lifelong responsibility can cause people to question their choices and judgment, basically asking, did I make the right decision?

That concern and insecurity can trigger their fears and hamper their ability to moving forward. As one partner might be looking to be more involved and connected than ever, the other partner might actually be pulling away and become less available, spending more time elsewhere and possibly even dabbling in activities that can cause jealousy and trust issues. These actions can often be more of a statement of the trepidation that becoming engaged conjures up, rather than a reflection of their true feelings for their partner.

If this happens to you, whether you are on the side of needing more space or the side of wondering what is going on with your fiancé, the most important thing to do is have a conversation with each other to explore the feelings that were triggered by this huge, Uncertain event.

Leave room to talk about misgivings and insecurities, even if that is difficult, so that at least you have an opportunity to express your concerns with the hope that they don’t weigh you down and pull you apart permanently. It might also be helpful to seek counseling to address whatever might be getting in the way of your future happiness. Talking to someone about this can help you determine if you jumped into the engagement prematurely, and the best thing to do would be to postpone the wedding or even walk away, or if it is just a temporary setback that can be fixed.

This is a way to work through the tough time and have a better understanding of each other, know you are able to share your fears and conflicts, and perhaps move toward a happy ending.


Relationship Advice from Dr Jane Greer

Dr Jane Greer
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Dr Jane Greer on Mariah Carey & Moving Quickly in a Relationship

Dr Jane Greer on Mariah Carey & Moving Quickly in a Relationship

Mariah Carey

Singer Mariah Carey is already talking marriage with her new boyfriend, James Packer. Typically, it’s the woman who’s eager to start talking marriage, sometimes even early in the relationship.

Although they’ve only been dating for a matter of days, James already believes he wants to marry her. The two have visited several countries together since last week. Deciding to get married is a big step for so many reasons, and thinking about doing it when you are just beginning to get to know each other might not always be the best idea.

When two people fall in love, anything seems possible. You might quickly begin to think about spending the rest of your life with that person, and even fantasize about how wonderful it could be. That is what love does, it makes everything look wonderful. The trouble is, a lasting relationship is made up of much more than the immediate chemistry and romance people experience when they first come together and the rest of the world falls away.

That world doesn’t stay away forever, and when it creeps back in with finances, job responsibilities, the possibility of having children, and other things that take place during daily life, it is helpful and important to have a strong foundation underneath you to know how to deal with these things as a unit. If you have time to get to know each other, allowing you to establish and understand your commonalities, shared goals and values, methods of communication, and ability to compromise and problem solve, you will be in a much better place to make your joint life work.

These are the nuts and bolts that determine whether or not you will be able to go the distance together. Too often when you lead with love, moving too quickly, you eliminate and edit out the opportunity to experience your partner in the real world and you might not be equipped to deal with the curve balls that life sends your way.

Time also allows you to establish a good balance between the me, and the we, which is necessary in sharing a healthy relationship. The risk of rushing into making the decision to spend your life with someone you don’t know well enough, despite the fact that you think you do, is that you can wind up in a situation that requires making concessions that feel more like sacrifice rather than compromise.

If it starts to seem that you are giving up what is important to you, it can be the beginning of your partnership no longer working effectively. So unless you have had the time to navigate your shared life and the demands that it entails, you might want to slow down a little.

When, then, is it okay to start that conversation about happily ever after? It’s probably best to begin once you’ve determined you’re exclusive and your individual worlds are clearly merging into a joint world. That’s the point at which you can look toward creating a future together and therefore discuss marriage, whereby you and your partner can see yourselves continuing together over the course of your lives.

Look to avoid bringing marriage up out of the blue because if there’s nothing concrete to attach it to, then the relationship may not be at that point and you may scare your partner off by being too premature with the idea. He or she may completely push back as a result. Sometimes talking about moving in together before bringing up the subject of tying the knot is a good starting point. There are times, however, when people are forced to talk about marriage sooner than they might otherwise. If one person has to move to another part of the country, or even the world, for a career opportunity for example.

The bottom line is that everything looks great at the beginning of a relationship and it is easy to get caught up in the excitement and fanfare. Be aware though of looking too far ahead. Give yourself a chance to be sure you are truly compatible before you walk down the aisle. Keep in mind also that if you are just coming out of a relationship and dealing with the aftermath of rejection, it can make this new relationship even more attractive and can be a way to put the pain in the past. If that is the case it is even more important that you take a deep breath and give yourself the time you need to make sure this is right for you.

It seems that Mariah and James don’t have these qualms and are ready to get serious and move forward with a shared life together. Only time will tell if they are moving too fast…

Article by Dr Jane Greer

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Online Dating more Efficient and Cost Effective than US Traditional Dating Methods

Online Dating more Efficient and Cost Effective than Traditional US Dating Methods

Researchers tell us about one-third of new marriages in the U.S. begin with an online meeting. According to market strategists at ConvergEx Group, the New York-based brokerage company, online data can also save a person thousands of dollars.

ConvergEx,, using data from statisticbrain.com note that the average courtship time for “off-line,” traditional dating, ahead of a marriage is  around 42 months – two years longer than the 18.5 month, average dating to marriage cycle for people who meet online.

Using that data, they came up with a formula. Read more of this HERE>>

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