Monthly Archives: September 2015

Emma Stone & Andrew Garfield – Relationship Jealousy

Emma Stone & Andrew Garfield – Relationship Jealousy

Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield
Andrew Garfield © Gage Skidmore

It’s rumored that lately actors Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield ‘are having issues’, stemming from the fact that Emma is close to her colleague Ryan Gosling. The possibility has spawned a lot of discussion about jealousy and how the celebrity couple might move forward from here.

While the two of them have not addressed the situation publicly, additional rumors surfaced suggesting the pair have resolved the issue. It’s very important to tackle jealousy head-on rather than letting it simmer within the relationship. And your partner doesn’t have to be working with a movie star, as is the case for Emma and Andrew, for you to feel the green-eyed monster in full force. In fact, most people go through this at one time or another, especially if their loved one is working closely with someone who is attractive and smart. When this happens, it is hard not to be rattled by the possibility that they could fall for this person and you could wind up losing them. So, what can you do to keep your fear and jealousy from taking over, and possibly creating more of a problem with your relationship than actually exists?

First, recognize that acting jealous can actually cause tension between you that may drive you apart rather than bring you closer. If you are feeling threatened, you may accuse your lover of doing something he or she isn’t doing, lash out in anger, or just generally make things so unpleasant that you unwittingly push them away from you and possibly in the direction of the other person.

The bottom line is that it is always uncomfortable knowing there are appealing men or women around whom your lover might come into contact with and find attractive. However, the real key to staying together happily is to focus on the connection you two share, rather than putting an emphasis on that perceived interloper. In other words, pay attention to ways to build on and strengthen your intimacy and closeness. If you are having problems over sex and/or money, for example, then now is a good time to invest your energy into problem solving and finding ways to compromise and resolve them, so that you can feel more confident, happy, and safe in your relationship. This way you use your energy productively to focus on considering and loving each other, rather than use it to act on your anxiety and possibly end up having it work against you.

When you are in sync and feel harmonious, it can eliminate any room for someone else to come between you. It can also help to ask for reassurance, making sure to avoid placing blame but rather raising your concerns and giving your significant other the chance to bring clarity to what is actually going on that will help you feel better. Despite jealous feelings occurring, when you have a strong foundation and trust each other, you can feel secure that you are the person your partner wants to be with. Hopefully, that will be the case, too, for Emma and Andrew.

Relationship Advice from Dr Jane Greer

Dr Jane Greer
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Relationships and Publicly Expressing Anger with Dr Jane Greer

Relationships and Publicly Expressing Anger with Dr Jane Greer

Fallout Shelter

Very often when we are mad at someone who has hurt our feelings our inclination is to get back at them by letting others know what they did to make us feel mistreated and wronged.

In fact, that dynamic is the hook of recent reality television programs. Doing that, though, and being vocal about the bad energy between you may unwittingly put the people around you in an uncomfortable position by making them feel like they have to choose sides.

Sometimes people get so caught up in the anger of the moment that it can spillover beyond their private world.

We saw this recently in the celebrity world with singers Nicki Minaj and Miley Cyrus at the 2015 VMAs, hosted by Miley. During the live broadcast on Sunday, Nicki called Miley a ‘bitch’ for talking about her in the press. According to an insider, “Nicki was livid with Miley and decided to air her feelings onstage.”

It was reported that MTV staffers had to keep Nicki and Miley away from each other for the night to avoid a confrontation. It is hard to know if their fighting was staged or authentic. Either way, it raises the question of whether shouting about your feelings in public when you’re upset is the best way to get your message across.

In Nicki’s case there might have been a strong desire to reach her fan base and share her rage toward Miley. Maybe she thought it was the only way to save face. But it really isn’t that different from fighting with a partner in front of family and friends at a holiday meal.

So when you’re irked at someone, what’s the best way to let them know..talk to them in private about it, or let the whole world know?

Before you let that happen, ask yourself if this is a relationship worth saving. If you decide it is, then the best thing to do is to go right to the source and address the cause of your distress directly with the person who upset you in the first place. Tell them what they said and did to set you off, and give them a chance to apologize and explain. It will also give the person the chance to clear up any miscommunication or misunderstanding that may have occurred between you.

Fighting out in the open just serves to fan the flames of the fury, but a straight conversation might clear the air and even help to salvage your relationship…

 

Relationship Advice from Dr Jane Greer

Dr Jane Greer
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