When Your Boyfriend & Your Best Friend Get Too Close!
When we become close to someone our natural instinct is to share them with the other people we are close to. Eventually you want to introduce your new boyfriend to your best friend so you can proudly show them how great the other is. You might even end up spending a lot of time together as a group.
Sometimes this can lead to a separate connection between your significant other and your friend, that is all okay to a point. However, there is a definite line that exists which defines how close the two most important people in your life can get to each other, and that is based on the fact that you are sexually intimate with your boyfriend, so there is a clear element of exclusivity that should never be violated by either party.
As long as the connection remains about sharing the strong feelings they have for you it is on the up and up. If though, there is ever a point when you might feel threatened or begin to doubt their intentions, then you can start to think about putting boundaries in place. How can you tell if that time has come??
The first red flag is if you start to feel left out. If your boyfriend and best friend develop inside jokes that you are not a part of, or they find reasons to spend time together away from you, even if you are sick or out of town, it is only natural to wonder if something is brewing between them. Another indication of a problem could be if your friend is admiring you so much that she starts to dress and act like you. If it begins to appear that she almost wants to be you, which can sometimes be flattering, but usually means she is jealous of what you have and might want it for herself, be on guard.
The best way to gauge when and if that line is being crossed is to trust your feelings and go with your instincts. If it is all positive, and your interactions are supportive and caring, then that is exactly what love and friendship is about. But if you start to feel uneasy, uncomfortable or a sense of competition surfaces from your friend, that is a good time to start setting limits on how much time you spend together as a group, and begin to monitor what you share with your friend so you can build your own sense of identity separate from her. By doing this, you can protect yourself and not have to worry about being betrayed by someone close to you…
Relationship Advice from Dr Jane Greer
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