Planning A Wedding – Different Experience Expectations

Planning A Wedding – Different Experience Expectations 

Wedding Planning

Something when two people decide to spend their lives together, one might have gone through it all before, the big wedding and honeymoon, and the other might be experiencing it for the first time.

Sometimes this can affect what each is hoping for as far as their big day goes. For the one who hasn’t experienced it before, this might be something they have been dreaming about since they were a little kid. They might have family members who have looked forward to it for years, and may even have strong ideas about how it should play out. For them, the whole idea of a traditional wedding dress and all the fanfare might sound great. The other person though, might feel they have been there and done that, they might no longer see the appeal of all the details and possible headaches that can go along with planning such a large, involved event. They might even think it would be nice to sneak away to City Hall or Las Vegas and elope. If you find yourself in this situation, how can you reconcile it?

The first thing to keep in mind is the end goal, which is to commit to each other for life! There are so many paths to take to get there, as long as you find one you will be achieving that all important objective. Having said that though, people still want what they want. Make sure you are able to talk about what you each desire and hope for, and really listen to why each person is requesting what they do. Try to compromise, maybe the person who doesn’t want a huge wedding or honeymoon will give in to the big day for the sake of his or her new spouse and family, but will then get to choose the honeymoon destination with the aspiration to keep it low key. Or maybe the reverse could work for you, the one who hopes for a grand occasion will be willing to tone it down but then might opt for an extravagant honeymoon.

Do your best to stay focused on what you want as a couple without giving up what is most important to you as an individual. Be sensitive to your partner’s needs, and try to find middle ground that will work for both of you, that way each of you can be invested in their wedding.

Relationship Advice from Dr Jane Greer

Dr Jane Greer
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Bad Romance Holding You Back? UK Dating & Romance Casting Call

Bad Romance Holding You Back? UK Dating & Romance Casting Call

Twofour Romance Casting Call

Twofour, an award-winning entertainment television production company are casting for a new UK TV series about love and relationships. January 2017

They are looking for people to talk about past relationships. Would you like to resolve things with your ex? Looking for a second chance with them or to find closure once and for all? If this sounds like you then get in touch with them.

You must be over 18 and a UK resident. Telephone: 0207 438 1924
Or email: relationships @ twofour.co.uk

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Dating – The Age Gap

Dating – The Age Gap

Holding Hands

Recently I’ve been noticing this thing cropping up around me with various people. People who are in the relationship of their dreams but are very very quiet about it, others who potentially could be, but are experiencing resistance to it, and some who aren’t even considering the possible dating options. The common theme? It all comes down to ‘The Age Gap’!

It seems there’s  a real sense of shame and taboo about it. How much of a gap is too much of a gap? Once we’re all adults does such a limit really exist? What will people say, how will people judge me? There are a lot of such questions flying around, but really the question I want people to be asking is, why do I care? Love has no age limits, so why are you allowing there to be any on yours?

At the end of the day we are all searching for love, to really love and to be loved. If we happen to find it in the arms of someone twice our age, and they in the arms of someone half theirs, then who is to say that’s wrong? Often it can be jealous ‘friends’ or angry confused parents, but you know what? Forget what others think about it, as long as you are happy together then the people around you should be happy for you too. If they’re not, then are their opinions really worth you caring about, so much so that you would let it stand in the way of your happiness?

As long as you’re old enough not to have the older party done for statutory rape, and granted your partner is not some known bad-ass drug dealer, or someone of the sort who may be likely to bring some kind of harm to your life. Then you need to ask why friends and family, who have no real basis for standing in the way of your happiness, seem to believe that the age gap is really that bad that they would rather see you single than happy with that older or younger person!

Sure, sometimes it can be hard, especially when it’s family trying to have their say on the matter, but they need to be reminded that after a certain age, age is just a number and people are people no matter what year they were born. We are all free to love who we please. Sometimes love will show up in unexpected ways with unexpected people.

Don’t let the age gap stand in the way of your happiness however large or small it may be. And if there’s anyone other than you standing in the way, then you need to side step those people and let them watch you walk unashamedly into the arms of your beloved! Down with societal age gap stigma!

Article by Gülie Ismail
Gülie Ismail
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Relationships & Children – Time Apart, Healing Betrayal

Relationships & Children – Time Apart, Healing Betrayal

Family Separation

Tiger Woods opened up about his relationship with ex-wife Elin Nordegren this week. The couple ended their marriage in 2010 after Tiger’s cheating scandal, but now they have managed to build an amicable friendship. With time Elin seems to have gotten past the betrayal of her ex-husband’s infidelity, which is a challenge for many couples, in order to do so. Tiger and Elin share two children, so this must be a welcome development for all of them…

While some couples are able to find higher ground and continue to make their relationship or marriage work after an affair, others realize that the intensity of the pain of the incident is just too much and that they are better apart.

Either way, initially there can be so much anger that it takes effort to not drag the children into it. This can be especially difficult if the spouses have parted and find themselves alone! The one who was betrayed feels that their whole world has turned upside down, and wants to get back at the person who did this to them and caused so much unhappiness. It is tempting to say terrible things about them to the people who are closest to you..your kids. The natural inclination is to want to get them on your side and have them take up arms against the person who caused this upheaval. The impulse to have the children understand what you are going through and why can be powerful.

How, then, can you avoid this urge, and instead let them know they still have two solid parents they can continue to depend on? How can you protect them from your own fury, and the negative energy that is coming from both sides, while navigating your way to a place of, if not forgiveness, at least of tolerance and understanding? How can you lead them to a solid foundation of security so that even if there is trouble between parents, they know they can count on the fact that both mum and dad will continue to be stable forces in their lives?

To begin with, understand that they are not the ones who should be supporting you through this. They need your support, so the goal is to try not to burden them with your rage. Of course, that is easier said than done. The first step is to find an outlet elsewhere because you will need to talk about it, and choosing people other than your kids to unload on is a great start. You can find solace and confide in anyone from a therapist or counselor to friends and other family members. Work to insulate your children so they don’t have to go through the raw emotion that you are going through. Steer clear of sharing the bad things your spouse did to you with the kids as much as you can. Finally, give yourself time which will hopefully lessen the sharpness of the betrayal, and eventually allow you to share at least a cordial relationship.

The hope is to find a way to provide a harmonious family environment despite the rift in your relationship. Where both parents can come back together and share an affable connection…

Relationship Advice from Dr Jane Greer

Dr Jane Greer
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Top 5 London Date Night Ideas

Top 5 Autumn London Date Night Ideas

Autumn is the perfect time to get out there dating, let’s face it, it’s that period of time between summer soirees and the inevitable winter hibernation. It’s the perfect window of opportunity to get out, meeting new people and love life potentials for a spot of romancing.

London is a great city full of hustle and bustle, but sometimes we can be stuck with so many options for date places, we wouldn’t know where to start to find a nice cosy spot to snuggle up and spark some great conversation with that special someone.

Take a look at these top 5 suggestions in order to make that all important date count…

Pergola On The Roof London
Pergola On The Roof – Television Centre, Wood Lane, W12 7RJ
Despite seating for 600 people this romantic spot will make you feel like the only two people on this rooftop. With two bars and self-service food from fab restaurants across the capital, this venue has the feel of cool along with casual. Free to attend but obviously food and drink not included, you can book if there are groups of four or more; so great for a double date too if you want to bring some friends along.

Gordons Wine Bar London
Gordons Wine Bar – Embankment, 47 Villiers St, London WC2N 6NE
Established in 1890 you must, must, must visit London’s oldest wine bar! Most certainly a romantic and ambient spot in London. Gordon’s looks after its customers very well, not only in terms of service and setting but its ever so extensive wine list. If your date is a lover of wine or great ambiance then this certainly is the place to go. Passed down through generations of the Gordon family, this wine bar isn’t going anywhere. Perfect for a first date…

Heron Tower Duck & Waffle
Heron Tower Restaurants – Heron Tower, 110 Bishopsgate, London EC2N 4AY
Taking your date to great heights, to whisk them off their feet. Ensure you both dress to impress! Drop in for a cocktail in the bar at Duck & Waffle or perhaps a spot of wining and dining in Sushi Samba if you’re looking to whisk your date off their feet! Heron Tower never ceases to amaze, with its great food, great atmosphere and indulgent date night views. Enjoy!

St Katherine Dock London
St Katherine Dock – St Katharine Marina, 50 St Katharine’s Way, London E1W 1LA
Tucked away just yards away from The Tower of London and the gorgeous Tower Bridge, St Katherine Dock is a beautiful little hideaway where you can grab a drink or two or a spot of dinner. Home to Gloriana, The Queen’s Rowbarge, you will find that this corner of London is quaint, quiet and perfect for meeting up with that certain someone.

The ShardCopyright © The Dating Agency Group

The Shard – 32 London Bridge St, London SE1 9SG
If you head up The Shard in the London Bridge Quarter you must take your date to the viewing gallery, on a clear day you can see all the way out to Greater London for up to around 40 miles! Apparently The Shard offers London’s best view (and I don’t doubt it) situated on floors 68, 69 and 72. You will find an array of fine restaurants with bars, I have often found live acoustic music, which is the perfect setting for an unparalleled date with that potential.

Wherever you decide to go for your autumnal date night, London is a beautiful city with lots to see and an awful lot to do whatever your budget and interests. Get out there and make the most of meeting up with your match before it gets a little too cold. Happy Date Night!

Images Copyright © Sarah Ryan

 

Article by Sarah Ryan
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Ex-Files & Old Flames – Why Isn’t It Easy To Say Goodbye?


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Ex-Files & Old Flames – Why Isn’t It Easy To Say Goodbye?

Saying Goodbye

The most compelling reason people continue to hold on to an old relationship is the fact that they have a shared history. The person who might be an ex-partner has a sense not only of who you are, but who you were with them and during your time together. To then say goodbye to them can also feel like saying goodbye to who you were during your relationship!

Things that can keep you hopeful, even if you aren’t happy right now, is the possibility that something will change and the good times you once shared and the positive aspects of the relationship will resume.

Another thing that can keep the glue between you from completely giving way is if one of you wants to hold on more than the other. When this happens the one who isn’t ready to finally end it might persist with calls, emails and texts, which can increase the doubts the other might feel as well as any guilt feelings he or she might have about ending the relationship in the first place.

The partner who wants to continue to be together might also make assertions that they will change whatever behavior may have led to the unhappiness between you. They might even start to do it, which can make the other person stick around with the hope that the negative behaviors will disappear completely. As a result a couple can often seesaw because even small changes can increase optimism and give someone the stamina they need to be willing to try to give it another shot.

In the case of a betrayal, when the initial and intense anger diminishes, there can be a willingness to give the person a chance to rebuild your trust. Also, when there are children involved there is often a desire to keep the family together for their sake. That can be one of the strongest driving forces of all. Whatever the case, certainly if a lot of loving feelings remain it is hard to imagine life without them in it.

The question becomes, how do you know if you are wasting your time, holding on with the hope that the happiness will be rekindled or the bad behaviors will change when there is the chance that neither of those things is likely? How can you know how much time to give it before reaching the decision to finally call it quits? Are there any strategies to employ for ending a relationship?

If you are moving forward with the intent to give your relationship a try and see if things can work out, it’s good to be clear about what specific changes you are looking for and how long you are willing to wait to see if they actually take place. For example, if you are looking to see if you can trust your partner again, the only real way to do that is to give them enough time to show through their actions that what they say and do is worthy of your trust. However if months go by and you continue to be disappointed because the promised changes aren’t happening, or they have happened once but were never followed up on, that can be a good indicator that things aren’t really going to be different from what had been upsetting you all along, and if you want to be happier it is time to let go.

If married or in a long term relationship you or your partner could look for counseling, which can help you either get your relationship back on track or help you reach the difficult decision that it really is time to say goodbye to each other!

 

Relationship Advice from Dr Jane Greer

Dr Jane Greer
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