Tag Archives: Lost Love

Love The Second Time Around

Love The Second Time Around

Love Second Time Around


How do you know when an old love has the potential to come back to life, and when is it best to leave an old relationship where it is?

When you see old lovers get back together, it might make you think about reaching out to an old but extinguished flame. There are times when that might require a deliberate act, actually calling or contacting someone from your past, or it can happen in a more spontaneous way, such as when you run into someone you once dated at a wedding or a reunion. Either way, it is good to take stock before jumping in with both feet.

The most important barometer for gaging what to do is to consider how and why your connection ended in the first place. It is ironic that in wondering if you should begin again, it helps to go back to where it ended, but that is where you might find the best answers. If the circumstances that broke you up didn’t have anything to do with the attraction and passion you felt for each other, and might still feel, it is possible that giving it another go could be a fine idea. It is also possible that even if there were problems, you have both grown and changed, and with the wisdom and distance you now have might be better able to deal with and manage them. The same issues that were front and center when you were first together might not bother you anymore, or might be more easily worked out.

On the other hand, if your relationship ended badly and there is still a lot of unresolved anger, there is the chance you will find yourself returning to that unhappy place. Also, if there were behaviors, habits, or personal traits the other person had that were intolerable for you, and that person still exhibits them and has not changed his or her ways, it may be better to leave the relationship in the past with the fond memories of what you once shared.

Once you have sorted that out, it may be that you feel your ex is really your lost love. In this new time and place, where both of you have mellowed, it may be viable and pleasurable to give it another chance.

Madonna said it in her song Stay:
When you walked out my door, I knew you’d be back for more, Let’s leave the past behind, True love is so hard to find.

Relationship Advice from Dr Jane Greer

Dr Jane Greer
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5 Steps to Get Over a Break Up

5 Steps to Get Over a Break Up

The Break Up

You’ve just broken up with your boyfriend. You knew it was coming; your relationship’s been in turmoil for a while now. Or it might have been unexpected. You didn’t see it coming. But nevertheless it’s a reality you have to come to terms with. So, what are the best 5 steps to get over a break up?

  1. Get Over a Break Up – Start Giving More

Once you’re over getting drunk and crying on friends’ shoulders, you’re faced with a sudden void that you don’t know how to fill. More booze and more crying can only go so far. It won’t be long before friends start suggesting that you take matters into your own hands and maybe cut down on the 2am sob calls.

Stalking your ex is not an option, whether online or offline. Even if there is hope for reconciliation, having some “me time” can earn you more brownie points than desperate texts about how it’s all your fault or his fault for that matter.

Be more charitable instead. There is need for help everywhere you look. Rather than feeling sorry for yourself, try feeling compassion for others. Whether is buying more than one “Big Issue” from a homeless guy or volunteering, whether it’s helping out a colleague you don’t actually like or making a donation so that Wikipedia stays ad free, the choice is yours.

The point is to stay connected to the world around you rather than bury yourself in your grief. Throwing yourself into work doesn’t count. It can be counterproductive on the long run. You’ll set expectations that will be hard to maintain once you’re over the heartbreak and want your life back.

  1. Get Over a Break Up – Work On a New Look

A break up can leave us feeling unworthy, unattractive and insignificant. Rejection is a hard pill to swallow. The “get him out of your hair” method is well and truly popular. However is pointless as a step one. Work on your soul first, looks come second.

Once you’re ready to smile, even if just occasionally, hit the shops and the hairdressers. Ask your friends to join to make it more fun.

Getting Over

  1. Get Over a Break Up – Indulge Yourself

Some of us are tempted to get a new look and go straight out there on a prowl. Whilst getting male attention is not altogether a bad thing since it can help boost your confidence, it is better not to pursue men for a while. Why? Deep down you are angry with our ex, with yourself, with how things went down. The smallest misunderstanding with a new man can make you find fault with all men under the sun.

You should have a cake day instead or a DVD box set day or a quite a few. You should indulge in anything that takes your fancy, romantic movies, Ben and Jerry ice cream, replanting the entire garden or going to the spa. The main thing is to give more to you.

  1. Get Over a Break Up – Rediscover Old Passions

These could be anything from travelling to pottery class, to one night stands with ex lovers.  You should be, by now, half way through your heartbreak and just as convalescent patients move from the drip to solid food, it’s time for you to get more adventurous. It will help you get a stronger sense of self.

The main thing is to stick with the familiar. By doing something you used to do and enjoyed doing, you gain strength from your old self. What better way to heal?

Got Over Break Up

  1. Get Over a Break Up – Start Dating

You’ve re-established the roots of your personality, you’ve found yourself, now it’s time to have a peak out there. It may take a while to be able to throw your heart into the game, but who says you can’t throw in your other senses. Try going for lust, rather than love at first. Keep things cool as well as hot and steamy. Once you’ve mastered this phase you’ll know when your heart is ready to fall in love again.

Want more dating advice or need help with writing your online dating profile? Get in touch with Laura.

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Article by Laura Gub
Laura Gub
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